Today is all about in what areas in my life am I not operating at 100%. This was really easy for me because its the one thing I have always had trouble with.
I am not 100% vulnerable in my personal relationships. I have a fear of intimacy and I hate letting people get close to me. Over the last year I have been working on this but Lord knows it's hard!
I'm probably one of the most guarded people you will ever meet. Why?I'm still figuring it all out by for the most obvious shallow reason I don't want to feel hurt.
This guard, this brick wall, this fortress of solitude is protecting a soft, beautiful,genuine ,emotional heart dying to be loved and cared for. But, it has learned through there years, there is little place for that in the wild. So with each hurt, disappointment, slight, tear another layer was built.
If people knew how easily my feelings get hurt, how I don't try to get my hopes up because I feel its pointless, How I yearn for someone to just GET ME!
But through life I am realizing that hurt is something that is going to be there... REGARDLESS.
No matter if your guard is 50 feet high or 5 feet something, somewhere, someone will hurt you. .. and IT'S OK.
What myself and others like me don't get as we are building those walls is that yeah it's protecting you from the bad on the outside but it's not allowing you to give and receive the goodness that's still there for you!
Not only have I realized being guarded shuts other people out but it shuts me off to people I truly love. I censor my true lovey dovey mushy feelings a lot because I'm concerned if the other person feels the same. So I don't orally express it but I guess I think they are suppose to magically read my mind!
About a year ago I made the decision to slowly start letting that guard down to DESERVING people. Doing this self discovery challenge has been a great stepping stone to aiding me in this. There has been days so far I';m still like OMG i should take that down, why am i doing this?
But in order to change, you must truly change and being uncomfortable is a part of that!
What area of your life are you not operating at 100%?
Building. Over. Obstacles. No. Excuses.
My musings on navigating the business world from an accidental entrepreneur viewpoint.
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