Wow we're getting deep right off the back with this self discovery challenge! My favorite mistake, is also my biggest mistake, my most memorable mistake, the one I'm thankful for, the one I regretted for a long time, the one I use to beat myself up over, and now my biggest teacher in my personal relationships and life in general.
My favorite mistake was waiting to long to make one.
I know that might sound crazy but the worst year and a half of my short 26 years of life was comprised of many mistakes but the root was that very thing.
See not learning to make mistakes and how to rebound from them hindered me from knowing what to do when it finally hit.
Those 18 months of hell was a destructive cocktail mixture of bad decisions, not trusting my gut, people pleasing, and depression.
You see I'm a perfectionist in the flesh, always have been, probably always will be. I was always the good girl, the good child, nothing less than a B in school, the responsible one, besides talking back and talking too much lol I was never a problem child. I went to school, studied, left the boys alone,graduated high school top of my class, went on to graduate college, and started my own business. I never made any MAJOR mistakes. I always chose the safe route, the politically correct route, the path of least resistance, and a lot of times the course that family members,friends, or society had already structured for me. If there was a problem no matter if it was technical, emotional, baby daddy drama, makeup you name Tarin could fix it.Olivia Pope had nothing on me honey! I didn't just take people's advice on my life and made my own decision I took their word and followed it. Not ever stopping to think TARIN!! Is this what you want?? Looking back on it I was on auto pilot.
At 18 I took the first step of what I now know to be my own self identity and that was wearing my hair natural. Everyone in my family gave me hell about it; but for once it was my decision, I stuck it out, and ultimately made a business out of it.
My first major mistake was made when I was 23. What I mentioned earlier plus my own thoughts on how my life should go, lead me to make the unwise decision to get married. My boyfriend at the time had been my safe choice through my late high school years and all throughout college. I thought I was in love, I thought I knew him, I thought he knew me, I thought this was what I wanted, I thought hey why not? this is how life is supposed to be. All in all I had my own personal doubts but I thought I could change them, which was where the mistake lies. I didn't trust my instincts and once again went along with status quo. After the cake was cut, the last dance was danced, everything moved in, I realized I made a HUGE mistake and for once in my life I couldn't fix it.
Long story short (literally) after a short 4 months it was over, divorced. I cried, I felt used, I felt unworthy of love, I felt like I let people down, I felt disappointed with myself. I felt EMPTY. I felt ASHAMED.
There were issues on both sides that I couldn't put on that superwoman cape and make everything all better and that lead to depression but most importantly soul searching. I always could make it work, what does this say about me ? That completely out of control, what the hell did I just do feeling was the worst for me and I couldn't handle it. Because it was never there.
However, making this mistake was the best thing that ever happened to me. Without the test their is no testimony. All my life for the most part it had been smooth sailing. This was the one thing that came and shook my entire world upside down.And through it all, all the hurt, all the self betrayal, all the subsequent bad decisions that followed I was able to come out the fire better than before. Through this process I learned:
I'm sure I'm not done making mistakes as it is life, but I do know how to handle them when it happens and most importantly better decision making not to repeat the same ones.
What's your favorite mistake?
Building. Over. Obstacles. No. Excuses.
My musings on navigating the business world from an accidental entrepreneur viewpoint.
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